As I continue revisiting many of the games in my collection, I've been spending quite a bit of my free time playing GOD HAND on the PS2. GOD HAND was a beat-em-up made by Shinji Mikami, creator of Capcom's super popular RESIDENT EVIL series, that was released in 2006. It's a game with a very passionate cult following that sold miserably. Many of the initial reviews for the game complained about it's ugly graphics, extreme difficulty, and Resident Evil-like "tank controls".

It saddens me that more people have not played GOD HAND as its one of the most entertaining times to be had playing a videogame. It's true, there are better looking games out there... but the character designs BENEATH the mediocre polygons is consistently clever. Also, from a utilitarian standpoint, the game models flow smoothly enough to make the fighting dynamic and intuitive. More than any of the recent batch of beat-em-up games, it's the most satisfying to play. There are tons of moves to purchase and modify your character with. That alone would make for a fairly satisfying experience. But when you add the superhuman roulette moves and zany finishing moves, it takes the experience of fighting to a level rarely seen in videogames.

Probably the wrongest and most satisfying move in the game is the spank. When male characters are tired, you are encouraged to use the special "o" button to "pummel" the opponent. Repeatedly pressing "o" makes your character do a rapid-fire sequence of punches, kicks, or stomps that wear down the enemy until they explode. If you're fighting an exhausted female enemy, the "o" becomes a "spank" button. When you press "o" you take the female enemy over your knee and spank her until she explodes. Yes, it's sexist and wrong... but it's absurdly funny and fits in with the quirky comedic tone of the game.

In general, I'm starting to feel that people have a hard time comprehending things that are violent and comedic. That's a damn shame. For me it's tough to beat something the deftly blends intense action with comedy. Video game wise, there's few that do it better than GOD HAND.

Below are some nice clips from GOD HAND showcasing it's tone. The MAD MIDGET FIVE is what the POWER RANGERS are like in the GOD HAND universe. I also HAD to include some spanking... and two of my favorite bosses in the game.

MAD MIDGET FIVE:

SPANKING:

GORILLA BATTLE:

LATINO ELVIS:

All the hype I've been seeing and reading about the upcoming Nintendo Wii METROID: THE OTHER M game inspired me to revisit Metroid 2D classics like Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion. The more I read about THE OTHER M, the more convinced I am that it isn't the game for me... but anything that reminds me of the beauty of Samus (Metroid's main character) is a good thing.

As with most males my age, I fell in love with robots and mecha during my formative kid years. My mom would buy me coloring books and children's books starring old-school japanese robots like Raiden during my pre-school years. For my Kindergarten graduation, my parents got me the Megatron Transformer action figure. Now, that was when people didn't even know what Transformers were. The cartoon had not been released and the toyline had barely hit toy store shelves. So, opening my graduation present and seeing Megatron for the first time was a revelation (and the envy of my classmates). My love for robots became a childhood passion.

Flash forward a couple years to the early days of the Nintendo Entertainment System. I didn't have an NES for several years, but I would take full advantage of times at my friends houses. If they had an NES, our play time typically was dominated by time in front of the television playing Nintendo. I would also often borrow my friend's Nintendo Power magazines... even though I didn't have a Nintendo system... and would study all the little bits of artwork in the colorful articles and level layouts.

The first time I saw the design for Samus, I fell in love. A video game starring a cool looking robot?! SOLD. The design was amazing! I remember being jealous of my friend who had some Metroid stickers from an issue of Nintendo Power on his Trapper Keeper. Samus was the embodiment of a cool robot design! When my friend told me that there was actually a beautiful woman INSIDE the robot suit, my mind was BLOWN. A cool design became even COOLER.

Sadly, the first Metroid game was way too hard to enjoy. I remember repeatedly trying to play the game at a neighbor's house and quickly giving up from getting lost or repeatedly dying. Bummer... but it didn't take away from Samus' cool factor!

Years later, my design tastes have changed with experience and a little wisdom... but my love for Samus' design is still strong. Yeah, the character gets small minus points for being an obvious rip-off/inspiration of Ridley from Alien; but the iconic colors (gold and red) and solid fundamental design make up for the lack of originality.

Those of you that buy THE OTHER M, enjoy. I'll be playing SUPER METROID, METROID FUSION, METROID: ZERO MISSION and finally get around to beating METROID PRIME 3.

Below are some promotional art from various Metroid games and some amazing "fan art" by super talented cartoonist Eric Canete and Torokun:

The amazing Mega Man fan art by Kiniku reminded me of two things: 1. How much I love Mega Man character designs. 2. How much I love Chibi-style characters.

The Mega Man games are a weird thing for me. It's one of those game series that I have tried so hard to LOVE but that I just cannot get into. The character designs are consistently awesome and the overall artistic style in the games is beautiful. But the basic game design doesn't work for me. My main issue with them is that I HATE how you can only shoot your gun in one direction. It'd be okay if the overall game design was built with some level of respect to this limitation... but the games consistently do the opposite; positioning various enemies in ways that are intentionally a few degrees above or below your shooting range. In fact, the entire Mega Man world is built around annoying design choices whose sole intention is to make things punishingly harder. You know what I'm talking about! Stuff like disappearing platforms whose patterns you have to memorize. Or, what about that ridiculous series of huge lasers that shoot at you during the second half of Mega Man 2's Flash Man stage!? I love hard games... but stuff like that was enough to make me quit on the series.

But... I so, so want to love those games...

Oh well, I can just STARE at the beautiful characters and enjoy them for their beautiful designs!

I'm also a big fan of Chibi-style art. For those that haven't heard of "Chibi", the word is slang in Japanese for a short person. It is also a term for cute, fat miniature versions of characters. The first time I recall seeing something in this style was when I was in Japan and discovered the Super Deformed Gundam toys on my first visit to Japan (that was in 1990). My adolescent brain went crazy for that stuff!

The Chibi-style Mega Man designs of the PSP Mega Man game (Powered Up) is a lovely take on the Mega Man characters... but I don't think it works from a gameplay stand point. When you see those big-headed characters walking around in a Polygon rendered game, it reminds you of how awkward it'd be for such a big-headed character to move around. It also gives Mega Man's gun a very weird angle from which to shoot.

Since I'm not into playing the game, though, the design choice is a lovely reason for me to salivate over cute reinterpretations of Mega Man's already beautiful designs. Keep in mind that Powered Up is an OLD PSP game (it came out in 2006)... but I feel the look still feels refreshing. That recent Kiniku's art (and my old buddy's mention of Powered Up) just reminded me of how much I loved the look!